Boulder, CO 80302, USA

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©2016 BY JUDY K WALLACE. PROUDLY CREATED WITH WIX.COM

Might "feminine indigenous presence" be a healing catalyst for disarming the anger, hate and misuse of power by White Privilege?

November 17, 2017

 

Nov. 17, 2017 Collective/Social Healing Constellation – Boulder, CO

 

This constellation revealed powerful healing potential when trust and the indigenous feminine heart-filled wisdom & presence are included and acknowledged. Barriers soften, hearts open.  These elements/qualities are often missing and unacknowledged in our world.

 

I offer here a brief view of the healing moment that was catalyzed and reverberated in this constellation.

With Trust standing beside Native American Women and Girls – and standing between them and sexual abuse, (so in a way blocking) - as well as a new supportive relationship with the US government who had for so long betrayed, isolated, and even harmed them – some kind of healing was opening up that took the form of an accepting movement  by Native American Women and Girls toward White Privilege and a consequent softening of White Privilege, whom Native American Women and Girls need not fear or resent any more.  There were a lot of healing energies at work almost simultaneously rippling in all directions - as if one movement activated healing in all of them. The energy shift was palpable and heart-opening.  And there is more that could be explored in all the relational dimensions at work.

 

Another piece that was clear on the recording but not really taken in by me (– I think I was experiencing the ripples of healing into the larger system of Native American Women and Girls being truly supported by and trusting  the US Government and also honoring and accepting White Privilege which actually totally softened that power.)  The other piece was the revelation that Sexual Abuse is a desire to connect with another and not knowing how to do that. This is quite profound and healing in itself to take in, and to notice how many ways this inadequacy has harmed and traumatized so many, especially children and innocents.

 

Harvesting our sacred circles and the constellation in detail.

Following here are:

  • the 2 circles where the group engaged in creating sacred space, acknowledging resources, and beginning to bring in elements present in the field.

  • The constellation

  • Closing circle – a brief harvest of our experience

 

Resourcing Circle:

Resourcing ourselves for our constellation as well as in daily life is key.  We invite our resources to be present here with us in this circle.

 

After some silence and inviting in and sensing the presence of those who have come before, we acknowledge our resources, those who have our backs and offer support.  This could be an ancestor, a family member, friend, spiritual practice or presence, a teacher, an archetype, an animal or previous soul incarnation coming into this lifetime.

 

Then taking the talking piece each brought forward what had come during the silence. Giving voice honors those, seen and unseen, who are present and stand with and behind us.

 

Ist person: In the silence I visualized my lineage, and my mom and sister.  I saw my mother’s side.  On my dad’s mom’s side, it felt like a split there, because my dad wasn’t in my life.   I feel the first few generations back on my mom’s side right now.

 

2nd person:  I went to my circle who are in my present life, and the person who brought me to that circle. My teachers, mother, father, grandparents, not so beneficial. I saw ‘light beings’ in a circle, not from this world.

 

3rd person: Allies and ancestors. I had a sense of being recognized.

 

4th person:  My maternal grandmother came to me yesterday and has been with me since.  A woman who was always a bit in the background as was the way for that generation of women; but she was kind, loving and warm. I love her a lot and appreciate her presence.

 

2nd Circle

Part of constellation work is to include all that is present – not to turn away, but to include, to acknowledge, and in so doing the potential for healing can be awakened – however we might do that.  What is alive in the field?

 

And acknowledgment of the discouraging and disruptive happenings of recent times, we went into more silence/stillness – in a centered and grounded way, knowing that in spite of everything coming to the surface in our country and world, something greater is at work. We are building capacity to birth a new future out of so much that is breaking down.

 

Guiding Question: What is arising for you in our country that you feel is asking to be healed? Where is your inner knowing pointing to societal healing so a new future can begin to grow?

 

When ready, each took the talking piece to give voice to what was moving in them.

 

1st person: Prayers from a long time ago; I have been for 22 years on the red road, a Native American spiritual path. Prayers to heal my past as well, healing in my family, and it’s rippled out into the community.  I also do triad meditations; I am part of several threesomes.  We see a triangle around the planet. It’s from the work of Alice Bailey and the Tibetan.  Through prayers, I am a healing source for a web of light.  The thing that seems so concerning is all the sexual harassment/abuse now in the headlines, also in my family, and a lot for women on the reservation, incest, and violence. At what point to we become empowered? In raising my daughter, I want healing to happen and that she not have that experience.  It feels like all the ancestors have come to be healed.

 

2nd person: My feet are grounded into the earth.  The Mother – she’s got this and me.  I just show up. Right now animals are up for me.  There is a person

where I live who is live trapping squirrels. Recently I saw a squirrel caught in the trap. I thought of freeing him.  I paused, and said, “this is between you and him. It’s not my stuff.” When I came back later the squirrel was gone; he had gotten out on his own. I feel every sentient being has their own impulse.  I go to the humane society often and walk the dogs.  I work with ‘developmentally young’ people and I see them as whole. I see what rises up in me – the shadow doesn’t impact.  I do sense a rising impulse in the world and must show up.

 

3rd person: As animals were mentioned, I have concern and hope for them. They are so dear to me.  I had not thought lately of their endangerment until it was mentioned here.  I love the prairie dogs who are native here, now often pushed to the side of the road as development takes over huge swaths of land. I have great concern for them.  I love and honor their resilience and zest for life. And the squirrel outside my upstairs window who was missing the tree that was cut down the day before.  I miss the tree too.  He looked confused. I felt my connection to him, and the loss of the tree.  That tree was a loving presence, a source of energy, and support for me that I could see every day.

 

Our Constellation Team 

 

 

Break

 

Constellation Framing/Highest Intention

Calling in the highest intention

 

Bell: Some minutes of silence. After affirming our intention that our work through constellation tonight is for the highest good and without any intended limitations or expectations, in service to the greater whole, we began.

 

Constellation Framing & Question

There are some powerful energies and concepts that impact us and the life force and energy field of the USA.  There is a need to acknowledge those who have come before – all groups, and many whose descendants are still here, but not seen or acknowledged - pushed aside.  Many in our country still live with the trauma of white oppression.

 

What is still in the shadow? How might we understand more about the healing that needs to happen?

 

With a small group, and deciding to do this blind, I placed 4 mats on the floor with what they represented underneath and unseen.

 

First entering as themselves, each steps next to one mat that seems to call or that they are curious about.  The unnamed elements were White Privilege(WP), the US Government(USG), Sexual Abuse(SA), and Trust.  (and later one for Native American Women and Girls(NAWG) would be introduced. Standing next to a mat was also so they would not, at first at least, step directly into some of these very powerful energies. WP and USG were pointing in. SA a bit out. And Trust totally pointed out and away from the others.  

Beginning placements:

 

             Sexual

             Abuse                        White Privilege

 

                                                                                               US Gov’t.

 

 

 

 

   Trust

 

Recording Transcribed

Asking how it feels to be here.

 

US Govt.  – Standing behind the mat looking in.  Felt unsteady, fluid in the mouth and in the throat, and leaning into it.

 

White Privilege – at first felt like a representative, but now it’s more the energy itself. Headache moving pressure in the eye sockets. Sense of being withdrawn and sunken.  Belly is collapsed in, like in hunger or an attack.  When asked how he was with the element to the left (the US. Gov’t) – “the energy feels like a small field of flowers.  So it’s fine being here fairly close.”

 

Sexual Abuse – “Initially when I stood behind it, it felt like I was being pulled into a jet stream, or something. Feels better being farther away and not really aligned.”  (rep was away from and looking in a different direction) When asked, she had noticed the distant mat for Trust, but was not affected by it.

 

WP turned and was looking away. Back was turned away from Trust. Not in his vision. Was not really aware of Trust, already distant and now behind him.

 

Sexual Abuse rep still at a distance from, she feels tired. A little restless.

 

WP – putting more effort into being present.  When I was facing that way (forward) there was a sense of some other consciousness looking up through my eyes.  That’s no longer happening. Now it feels more like a collective unconsciousness, an organization, a society, or gov’t.

 

At this point I, Judy, bring in another mat for Native American Women and Girls – and asked if it made a difference for anyone.  It was placed somewhere near the middle of everything and pointing in a way to look at all but Trust.

 

Please recall, no one but me knows what/who the mats stand for:

USG – not leaning in as much (still standing right behind the mat)

WP – a light sensation in the heart and upper body.

USG – calves and feet are really heavy now, hurt at first, but now smoothing out.  And not leaning like I was.

WP – headache is coming back.

SA – feels like the jet steam is pushing or pulling me even farther away. Not toward Trust, but off to the side.  She left the SA mat  where it was.  She did not want the mat with her.

WP – I have a sense of relationship with these 4 (not including trust). The relationship is with the others.   But the other (Trust) may have a relationship to the whole. (I, Judy, find this interesting – as Trust would be what helped to bring everything together into a healing kind of movement)

 

At that point, I asked if each would be willing to stand on their mat.  It felt like they were already representing in some way, but wondered how it would be to stand directly on and see how it feels.

 

USG Not leaning now. feels lighter in the body. I asked how she feels in relation to the new mat (NAWG). She felt connected to it; it’s supposed to be there.

 

I asked the one standing away from SA if she was willing to go stand on the mat.  She tried it; it felt very unstable.  Her nose was running; it was drawing the mucus out of her nose.  “I don’t love it here on the mat.”  She wanted to step back/away again.  I asked now how she felt about the blue mat (trust).  She felt repelled, it’s there, but not part of this. She did not feel anything for the green mat (NAWG)

 

WP – stood on the mat, but didn’t like it, so stood behind the mat.  Did not want to stand on it.

 

I went to stand on Trust to see if that changed anything for anyone.  Standing there and facing away from all, I said, “I feel unseen, I don’t belong. Like being invisible. “

 

SA – “It drew me there, it also felt like energy pulled from there, but easy to resist.”

WP – “I had a stronger sense of the presence of that energy. It was present; it was activated.”

USG – felt an evening out, a smoothing was happening.

 

I moved the Green Mat (NAWG) closer in. And Trust also, I believe.

I stood briefly on NAWG.

 

WP felt a “strong connection between the red mat (USG) and green (NAWG)”. “Very strong and present, as if in relationship, like family, and allies.”

 

USG “went back on her heels a bit” when NAWG and Trust were moved closer in. On her heels was “not trying to get away or escape but more of an evening out in my body.”

 

WP –“A sense of curiosity; I want to explore and be part of this.”

I asked if he wanted to stand on the mat (NAWG) to see what it felt like?  He did and said, “it is very warm and inviting and present. It has a family quality, supportive, some kind of close relationship.”

(with USG), “my whole body softened, much more alive.”

I asked how he felt about the mat (SA) “Small and far away.”  He went back to mat for WP.

 

I asked how that felt for the one who originally went toward SA?  (she is still distant from the mat) She felt “indifferent about being small and far away”.  She said that when I had stood on the green mat(NAWG), she felt “a connection there, a swirl of energy, like an eddy”.  She felt connected energetically there.  But not when I left.

 

WP – not in it, next to it.

I told them it might be interesting to see what these mats are and then continue.  Mats / elements are revealed.

 

As he uncovered WP, he did not want to touch it.  He was quite surprised to see what it was, even laughing.  It felt “really rigid, unwelcoming, and self-righteous.” When asked if he would continue to represent WP, he said, “if necessary”.  “I feel like I am guarding that from this.” He was representing WP because he was asked to, but felt inside a sense of allegiance to USG and running interference and wanting to protect USG from WP, which he had not been willing to stand directly on.

 

USG – she recalls that at first she was leaning into it, but was unstable.  Then something softened so that she was able to stand on her own.

 

WP felt “greedy like it wants to absorb USG, to feed on it.  And is gleefully self-righteous.”  Another person suggested, “male white privilege”.  He said “does have that quality but also other things.”

 

When Sexual Abuse was uncovered, she saw why she did not like being there and had stood away.  Felt currents and eddies.

 

WP didn’t feel concerned about that (NAWG)

 

I went to uncover Native American Women and Girls.  The person with WP mat spoke as if he were outside of WP, and about how that element felt, but not directly as it.  There was resistance to being WP. Before NAWG was uncovered, he said, “It was like it was not really there, like a fly on the wall.”  He continued, “WP wanted what that had. Wanted to feed on it.”

 

I reminded them that awhile back WP had said that USG was like a “bed of flowers”.  The one for WP said, “it felt very inviting, I just wanted to lie down and roll in it, to be there. It felt very welcoming.”

“It was not like it was built for me, but a good place for me.  It had all I need.  All my needs are met here.  No one else there; it can be all mine and be really fun.”

 

I reminded them that there earlier had been by WP the sense of some kind of relationship between USG and NAWG.  That they were allies. He still felt that.  There’s some connection there. And I reminded them that a lot of abuse has happened there too. The one representing WP knew intellectually that that was true, but still felt a strong relationship there.

 

I reminded them that the blue mat (Trust) wasn’t even noticed and was out of the picture and facing out. I went to uncover Trust, which was still at a bit of distance. They were all surprised.

WP said, “the only time it felt remotely relevant was when all of these were together.  (these were likely SA, NAWG, WP and USG who were closer together).  “When NAWG came in, it helped all of these jell into a larger community (all mats, except Trust was still farther away), and there was a bit of relationship there, but it felt tenuous as things got moved around, and then it went away."

 

Another remembered that when I stood on Trust, I did not feel seen, did not feel I belonged.  And another said that no one can get there from here.  And it’s facing away.

 

I moved Trust and put closer to NAWG and SA.  I indicated that Trust was now part of the smaller circle.  Does that make a difference?

One person said there is “a conflict there, they don’t fit together, like two streams colliding”(with SA). Another wanted it between NAWG and SA (or WP?), to be like “a lightning rod”.  “like beaming a laser beam to break apart whatever the armoring is, like the all-powerful thing.”  I asked her to go stand there as Trust.

 

She was very willing. And she stood on Trust in a way that was confrontational for WP, to strip that power.

 

WP wondered why the party was being ruined. Everything was happy and fine. He wanted more direct connection to power to distract and disrupt. WP was getting closer to USG. He wanted a more direct connection that was harder to distract and disrupt.  He felt like he needed to get there, before or ahead of Trust.

 

USG wanted more of Trust as WP gets closer.

WP – “I feel like I need to get there ahead of Trust. 

USG moved away and was stronger.  I placed a mat behind her for the USG ancestral lineage. I asked her to feel that and just take it in. That helped stabilize her and she felt the strength and support.

 

I put in a mat for whatever might he missing.

 

WP became very uncomfortable and began moving back, as far as he could, next to the wall. He wanted to leave this whole situation.  He wanted to go out into the hall. “None of this is welcoming or fun anymore. The party is over.  There is not a party anymore.”  He felt “anger, rage, and confusion”.  “Why is the party over?”  For him there was “no sense of anything missing but that the goodie is over, the yummy is done.  It’s (WP) a very simple consciousness, literally just following me. “

Trust offered to WP,  “I understand you’re mad.  That’s natural.”

WP  - “The party doesn’t need to be over. This energy is all there is. It’s its own world. There can be no other reason, there is no other, for the party to be over. If it’s over, there is something wrong.  Something did something to it. I am struggling with representing this. My energy is all up here now (in and above his head), like a deflector shield, completely out of my body.”

 

Trust – Feels like “that’s part of the problem, to disembody anger and rage, and why WP can’t have what it wants when it wants it anymore, because there are other things that matter.”

 

WP – “but nothing else matters to WP energy, besides its own experience. It recognizes there are other things out there but they are not relevant or part of its experience.”

 

Trust – “I wonder if we can move that.  I get that. That’s part of the problem, WP doesn’t see that it is privileged. WP doesn’t know it’s part of the problem.”

 

Thinking of finding a healing movement, I asked WP if there is a part that is not seen or understood, not included.  WP – “the core essence, and it’s not really conscious. I refer to it as It as I am not willing to fully embody it. There’s much more consciousness and presence in the warmth underneath it. That deeper presence is not known. It still has an interest in NAWG, not in a predatory way, but in a genuine curiosity and fascination way for self-awareness. There’s a quality of awakeness that is fascinating to it.”

 

So I suggested we try something. I went and stood on NAWG.  At some point here, WP moved from standing away against the wall and came back to his position looking at NAWG.  I, as NAWG, was now directly facing him.

WP almost immediately “found that interesting”; “that energy suddenly is becoming more mature. Not about protecting but the maternal, almost like a teacher”; WP was seeing “some value in the energy it was trying to learn or wanted to learn.” (I inserted there that this could be something of the indigenous wisdom of NAWG)  WP rep said, “It helps WP to grow up to be in this relationship. It’s more humble, softer. WP is more open.”

 

I as NAWG looked directly at WP, not in a confrontational way but simply standing strong, and said, “I see you.”  “I acknowledge you.”

 

WP immediately softened and he said, “I feel like I was just showered with stars.  And an awakening of the core rising up out of the center. I am in a sudden relationship with all the others.”  “A really sudden and profound shift in understanding of self and other. There’s a kind of contentment residing there. There’s a general sense of appreciation, not directed at any one source. A new upwelling of rightness. It’s almost like the larger structure, the scaffolding around it and protection that was there, is now like a ‘soft living being’ inside.  Scaffolding is dissolving and dismantling.”   

 

This was a powerful experience.  It felt like something was truly shifting. And WP had softened completely.  I felt this in my body as NAWG, and in my inner essence.

 

As NAWG, I asked if Trust and USG would come to stand with me.  I wanted USG behind me, at my back the way I had always wanted, and Trust on my left side between me and SA. And us all facing WP.

 

WP said, “this makes me want to cry.”  More was said between the two of us, connecting. WP said, “this(NAWG) is the leadership of all of these.  They can’t do it alone. This is the way it should be, us seeing each other.”

“(As SA) This is so overwhelming, I have a sense of wanting to make it better, and having no idea how to approach it without making it worse.”  (The WP rep was now coming forward as SA, he seemed to be able to feel the representation of more than one simultaneously – seeing the larger picture)

I (NAWG) said, “maybe that is what Trust is for, learning to trust that we will know how to approach this. “

WP said, “That was part of Sexual Abuse, wanting to make it better and didn’t know how.” (this I, Judy, didn’t recall until I heard it on the recording.  Quite profound and we concluded so it was not further pursued. Since I was representing NAWG, I think I was truly embodying and experiencing the expanding and healing ripple energies as NAWG, I don’t think I, as Judy the facilitator, heard this about SA.)

 

The healing that had happened was palpable and felt as if it was reverberating.  I as NAWG, felt it deeply in my body and heart, that there could be this connection I had waited so long for, to be seen by WP, and learning to Trust the USG and with trust I could learn how to not be a part of Sexual Abuse.  There was a new kind of protection and recognition; I was seen. And the sad understanding that SA was on some level a way humans are trying to make things better and to connect was not taken in then but understood as of this writing. (as it came through on the recording)

 

 The trauma of white privilege and its oppression as well as sexual abuse gets passed to our children and future generations - how might we protect and bring in the innocent and loving voices of all children of all backgrounds and colors?

 

 

 

 

 

Closing Circle – After de-roling, we gather in circle.

What was your experience? What did you notice, or what surprised you? Where are the seeds of hope? What are you learning about yourself in this process?

 

1st Person: I saw that White Privilege recognized the value of connection, and had curiosity about the Native American Women and Girls. I’ve had that experience on the reservation.  They open their hearts and share their lives with folks like me, someone with privilege.  It’s been life changing. The direct experience is precious and I hope more will get that, so transformation can continue.  Very rich.

 

2nd Person: I noticed my own individual feelings. My whole body was off center for a long time as the US Government. I realized how much I rely on energy outside of myself. The field of flowers – I was not even aware of White Privilege (who saw the mat for US government like a field of flowers; it’s identity was still hidden). I wanted Trust to come closer (didn’t know yet it was Trust) and when it did then I got more secure in who I was.   And my heart opened when I stood behind Native American Women and Girls.  I felt grounded and connected to the Earth. Before we started I could feel the grandmothers here to support us.

 

3rd Person (this was me, Judy) I had no idea, of course, where this constellation might go.  And amazed at how the energy, body, softening of White Privilege happened when Native American Women and Girls came close and faced White Privilege and acknowledged it. “I see you.”  And the power of trust – never there really for native people with the US government.  And now the US government standing behind NAWG and supporting them – how it always should have been.  Representing Native American Women and Girls was humbling and I also felt really strong – having the support from Trust and the US government to truly look at White Privilege – a moment of heart opening and forgiveness.  The healing energy felt powerful in my body and heart – and radiating into the field.

(I also shared a bit about the constellation at the NASC Conference where Indigenous wisdom and its feminine nature connected through the land to the head to the Soul of American Democracy.  And how historically some of the founders had consulted with the Iroquois Confederation elders, as they wanted to know how they brought together 6 tribal nations and made that work.  As the founders, they were not sure how to bring together 13 colonies and if that was even the best thing – maybe leave them separate.  The part of the Iroquois way of governing that the founders did not seem to consider was the influence of the women, who would sit in council and together choose the male leaders.  They also had the power to take away that leadership if they deemed one was not working in the best interests of the whole. So this constellation feels related with the presence of Native American Women and Girls and White Privilege (founding wealthy white men).)

 

4th Person:  Reveling in the Native American Women and Girls as wisdom and power and authority for the US Government.

 

1st person again: The white mat (White Privilege) felt small to me, energetically small; I was hoping it was collapsing onto itself.

 

Silence & joining hands

Shaking off again and a big clap

 

 

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